Handling Overwhelm: Figuring Out Your Capacity as a High Functioning Person

Wellness Chats & Anatomy Facts: Where a nerd can be a nerd

Be honest, it's just me (writing this) and you (reading this in your head) here. Did you bite off more than you can chew or are you saying "I got this" while managing about 50 different tasks, concerns and obligations at a time?

Then, that 51st thing comes and it could be something really simple, like a dirty countertop or an overflowing hamper and now you just got set over the edge. Not just "oh man, another thing!?" I mean like your heart rate is increasing, your irritation is rising and you're ready to curse somebody out or take a nap (we all react differently).

Here's the thing with high-functioning women and men, our capacity to take things on is so high that we might not realize when we're taking on too much. So I've been really meditaing on the word 'capacity' and what it truthfully looks like for me.

In August, I burnt myself out. I put in so much work and met with so many people that I needed a full week of just being in my home to recover. As a former single mom of two young boys, a History undergrad, a massage therapist, running a business, studying to get into law school and a martial artist-- my capacity is pretty high. I've been able to function under a lot of pressure and expectations but, what if I dont realize I'm taking on too much because, taking on too much is all I've ever known? So here I am managing 50 different responsibilities and tasks. Cool, I can handle this. Then BOOM, I walk into my bathroom, it's a mess and I'm ready to jump off a cliff. So maybe, even though I can handle 50 things, maybe thats not actually my true capacity. Its just what I am capable of holding before I reach my 'overflowing' point.

Perhaps my true capacity, where I can live comfortably is more like '25' things to manage and then as life throws its inevitable obstacles and challenges I can take them on with ease. Not stress. Not Pressure. Not desperation. Not rushing to get it done, (which always costs more in the end) just so I dont have to think about it anymore.

When we talk about capacity, we are really talking about "how full is my coffee cup? Is there room for milk?" It looks different for everyone. Learning what your capacity is will allow you to manage the things in your life with more ease and will give you awareness to when you are reaching your limit. This means you can learn what to delegate, how to time things out and when its time to put something down.

Looking back on my days as a single mom, full time student and worker-- there were moments when there was no one to delegate to and there was no other time to take care of something. In those moments thats when we learn to give ourselves grace for not having a perfectly clean home (in that moment) or not being able to pick up the phone or whatever isn't the top priority. It's also when we need to let go of the fear of asking for help. Community is there to support you, so let them. Especially if you know, you would do the same.

So high-functioning people-- I hope today you think about what your true capacity is (your cup half-full or 2/3rds full) so that you can live a life of reduced stress and when problems come your way, you can take them on like the bad-ass you are. Let's call it "leaving room for milk."

Thats your cushion. Thats your extra space. To simply do something for yourself or to leave room for whatever else might come your way. As I learn it for myself, I'm happy to offer some support and guidance as you learn it for you.